Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Making new mom friends is like dating – actually speed dating- all over again.

I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been on a mission to make new mom friends and have been forcing myself to get out of the house and hunt them down. It is really important to have other moms to share this experience with but unfortunately they don't send you home from the hospital with all of the contact information for other new moms in your area. Although it has been slow going, I’ve learned a few things in the past few moths.

1) Pick up lines are a lot easier to come up with when you’re a mom. Who can resist a conversation that begins with “Would you look at that? My child just ____ to your child. You can fill in this blank with limitless options since babies are always doing bizarre things such as: licking each other, pulling off each others shoes, stealing each others bottles and binkies, and sticking their fingers in others orifices. This will also help you weed out the other moms who don’t have a sense of humor about your child, their child, or their child’s orifices.

2) Scheduled play groups, mom’s club outings, support groups, meetup.com, storytimes, and classes are the best way I’ve found to meet other new moms. I have a friend who met her husband in line at a coffee shop. I’m not that quick with any of my relationships. If you are though, you could probably have a lot of luck at your local park or open play area.

3) You do not have hours to talk to other moms. If your lucky you’ve only got a few minutes before you are interrupted by a baby spitting up, pooping, getting hungry or sleepy, or crawling or toddling off so you have to jam pack all your wit and charm and general likableness into just a few sentences. It might be easier if you start when your baby is really young and still sleeps most of the day.

4) Just like the dating books say when talking to a boy, if another mom is reluctant to open up it always helps to compliment them. Tell her something nice about her baby. All babies have something going for them so this should not be hard to do.

5) MOST IMPORTANTLY: Do not seem too desperate or try to push the relationship too fast. I have to admit I’ve made this mistake. Don’t let your new mom friend know that you are penciling her in as your new super best friend on your first play date or push for your husbands to meet so you can start planning your annual double family camping trips. As with dating, if you are prone to fantasies about the future of your relationship, it’s best to keep those fantasies to yourself for now. You can laugh about them later.

6) Lastly: If you are invited somewhere by other moms go! It's the only way you will build the friendship.

Good luck moms and happy friend hunting.

2 comments:

V and P said...

I hear you. We went on our first playdate last Friday. I thought I was your super best friend mom?

MamaMeg said...

Move back to Cali and the postion is yours!!! :)